Outlet Malls, Runaway Hummers and Truth or Dare...
I don't have a particular rant this evening. This entry will be a collection of random thoughts and God knows what else by the time I'm done.
So I locked up the trailer and went out on the town tonight.. Just down the road about 45 minutes to a land of outlet malls, a burned down Long John Silvers and .. more outlet malls. We chose to dine at a yankee "cowboy" establishment. You know the type, peanuts on the floor, steaks in the window and perky servers that annoy the hell out of you. Poor kids were trying to line-dance (shakes head..) Anyhoo, we had a mighty nice, relaxing dinner until that familiar clapping in unison. Yes, some poor schmuck had a birthday and was being ambushed. So here come the perky kids all smiles and doing the worst yankee rendition of "yeeehaw!" I have heard thus far. So ok bday schmuck is up and damn if they didn't roll out a saddle! On wheels! I tell ya, sometimes these folks are too much for me. Poor girl had to mount this pathetic saddle while they "yeehaw!"d once again. You know, they pulled that crap on me one time with salt and pepper shakers on a chair.. I discreetly unscrewed the tops and dumped it on them.. But back to the story.. Everybody "yeehaw!"d once more, the girl dismounted and went back to her daquiri. Overall the food was wonderful but that Green Bay Packer mural kills it for me every time. Not a Stetson in sight. "YEEHAW!"
You may have heard all this hoopla over our fearless leader defending wiretapping. Notice President Chaney is never in on this stuff? I do like the guy truly because he knows how to lay low and let the shit hit everyone else. But back to wiretapping. I've decided to be a good citizen and make as many phone sex calls as possible just in case they are listening. My contribution to Homeland Security.
*** Special shout out to my big buddy Grinno! *** I can die happy now that I have seen her type the word tarddddddddddd.
So my Gam got me a nifty remote control Hummer H2 for Christmas. It was all fun and games until it ran under my bed. I'm too lazy to dig it out at this point and we just won't tell her.
Christmas is a scam. Think about it. We loved it when we were kids, staying up all night for Santa to leave us all kinds of crap that would be broken by the next week. Then you get older and figure out Santa doesn't really exist, but it's ok because you still get crap.. Here is where the scam starts.. A few years later you realize that YOU are the one who has to buy the crap. Scam.
Gas is a racket. Sure we have all bitched about this before but what burns me is the fact that they hike it up to $6 billion dollars a gallon only to get us all excited when it goes back down to $2.38.. That is not a bargain folks. Iraqis paying a nickel per gallon is a bargain.
Never play "Truth or Dare". It will bite you in the ass every time.
(Yes honey, I see you hysterically laughing right now..)
And I will close with one final thought.. It is Martin Luther King Jr. day. Lets all take a moment to remember not the hyped up crap of today but the original cause. Red, yellow black or white, straight or glbt, disabled or perfectly healthy we all gotta get along people. Let's keep working on that cause.
You might live in a trailer park if:
Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.
So I locked up the trailer and went out on the town tonight.. Just down the road about 45 minutes to a land of outlet malls, a burned down Long John Silvers and .. more outlet malls. We chose to dine at a yankee "cowboy" establishment. You know the type, peanuts on the floor, steaks in the window and perky servers that annoy the hell out of you. Poor kids were trying to line-dance (shakes head..) Anyhoo, we had a mighty nice, relaxing dinner until that familiar clapping in unison. Yes, some poor schmuck had a birthday and was being ambushed. So here come the perky kids all smiles and doing the worst yankee rendition of "yeeehaw!" I have heard thus far. So ok bday schmuck is up and damn if they didn't roll out a saddle! On wheels! I tell ya, sometimes these folks are too much for me. Poor girl had to mount this pathetic saddle while they "yeehaw!"d once again. You know, they pulled that crap on me one time with salt and pepper shakers on a chair.. I discreetly unscrewed the tops and dumped it on them.. But back to the story.. Everybody "yeehaw!"d once more, the girl dismounted and went back to her daquiri. Overall the food was wonderful but that Green Bay Packer mural kills it for me every time. Not a Stetson in sight. "YEEHAW!"
You may have heard all this hoopla over our fearless leader defending wiretapping. Notice President Chaney is never in on this stuff? I do like the guy truly because he knows how to lay low and let the shit hit everyone else. But back to wiretapping. I've decided to be a good citizen and make as many phone sex calls as possible just in case they are listening. My contribution to Homeland Security.
*** Special shout out to my big buddy Grinno! *** I can die happy now that I have seen her type the word tarddddddddddd.
So my Gam got me a nifty remote control Hummer H2 for Christmas. It was all fun and games until it ran under my bed. I'm too lazy to dig it out at this point and we just won't tell her.
Christmas is a scam. Think about it. We loved it when we were kids, staying up all night for Santa to leave us all kinds of crap that would be broken by the next week. Then you get older and figure out Santa doesn't really exist, but it's ok because you still get crap.. Here is where the scam starts.. A few years later you realize that YOU are the one who has to buy the crap. Scam.
Gas is a racket. Sure we have all bitched about this before but what burns me is the fact that they hike it up to $6 billion dollars a gallon only to get us all excited when it goes back down to $2.38.. That is not a bargain folks. Iraqis paying a nickel per gallon is a bargain.
Never play "Truth or Dare". It will bite you in the ass every time.
(Yes honey, I see you hysterically laughing right now..)
And I will close with one final thought.. It is Martin Luther King Jr. day. Lets all take a moment to remember not the hyped up crap of today but the original cause. Red, yellow black or white, straight or glbt, disabled or perfectly healthy we all gotta get along people. Let's keep working on that cause.
You might live in a trailer park if:
Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.
posted by Renny at
10:03 PM
1 Comments:
Yes Luvah...you know that evil grin so well....so....now that you know my little "truth" are you ever going to try it out on me?? inquiring minds want to know...heh heh....Muuuuuuuuuah..can't wait to see you again!!
By
Jae, at 10:55 PM
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