Good·will: An attitude of kindness or friendliness; benevolence.
Good·will Shoppers: Inconsiderate assholes who should be forcibly medicated.

You know I didn't really start shopping in stores until a couple of years ago. Seriously, I used to do all of my grocery shopping at the neighborhood gas station because a $4 loaf of bread was worth my sanity.
I hate stores, I hate crowds and I hate ignorant people. Period.

This morning we stopped at the local Goodwill megastore to pick up some books and stumbled upon a loveseat recliner for $65. It was a little beat up but comfy and the price was right folks. The cashier informed me that they were having a "Midnight Madness" sale with everything marked 50% off at 8pm. My ghetto loveseat bargain had just become a $32 necessity! So we went home and waited for the madness blowout to begin..

7:30pm and Scoob and I headed out for the kill.. This shit was unbelievable folks. There were people lined up at the door. I'm talking the parking lot was full, Suburbans dumping 15 at a time and the turn lane looked like a funeral procession. It is a freakin' Goodwill people, not JC Penney the day after Thanksgiving.
Scoob and I found our place close to the door and were ready to roll our plan.
Scoob to the register and me to the couch, win/win right?

7:55pm the line was stretched the entire length of the parking lot and the troops were getting restless. In front of me there was an elderly woman, 90ish hunched over with a walker politely waiting her turn. 8pm and ONE door opens with a mad rush of Goodwill idiots trying to pile in. This BROAD begins to push into Granny literally shoving her out of the way!! Granny finally made it thru the door and I hauled back to furniture. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
My ghetto recliner had been stolen by that granny knockin BROAD!!

I had lost the recliner I had been obsessing about all day and I was angry.
Why is it because my momma raised me with manners that I always get the shaft?

DEAR BROAD: Why is it that you can push and shove your way while endangering other people to get what you want? I hope your new treasure is flea infested and that you get crotch rot off the damn thing lady. Jesus hates a shover!!!

I wonder if the gas station sells recliners?....

You might live in a trailer park if:
You have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occasions.