Hey, Leatherface, come help me with Grandpa!

Yoda...........
Well you may remember the kitty that Scoob was eyeing at the vet? Yep, Bing & I went back to pick it up on Wednesday and named him Yoda. Look at the picture - it kinda works for him eh?

Yoda and his brothers were abandoned and best the vet could tell were about 7 weeks old. Yoda was the runt and extremely underdeveloped but completely lovable. He explored some and played with Rudy who instantly took him as his lil brother. A few hours later Yoda got slower and Scoob stayed up all night wrapping him in a heating pad and bottle feeding. We rushed him to the vet the next day but they put him down that night. He was only here for a day but he was the best little Jedi ever. We miss you Yoda boy...

So we got the final electric bill from the old trailer.. $475.00.
Bing called them up and apparently our payments have been late for the past few months. This was news to us folks because we pay online every month just as the hold message says 117 times. Well come to find out, this company who shall remain nameless but is less than "Reliable" takes three days to post internet payments! So we were paying before the due date but their books were hitting after. Of course they are unwilling to work with us because we are such delinquent badasses, hence Bing going into a conspiracy kick.
Everyone sing it with me..
PARANOIA, PARANOIA, everybody's coming to get me....

So, we were talking the other night about not receiving the first water bill yet. I explained that they gave us a nifty paper explaining how much water it takes to wash dishes, do laundry etc. Bing launched into a conspiracy on the folks of the Water Department. "Of course they are going to tell you it takes more water to hand wash than run the dishwasher! They want to sell as much water as possible! Regular freakin Ozarka and they lie!" This is the part where I tell you that this is a county water office with two of the nicest yet clueless women working there. They don't have time or no how for conspiracies..

Moving along.. We took our new found friend around Cleburne looking for a place to move. Touring the trailer parks, houses and shanty towns was as thrilling as deja vu can be. Oh, there was some sort of unpleasant Bing conspiracy exchange at the gas station involving profanity. And now we have come full circle folks and I promise it's gonna get better from here.

Rudy has been seriously down and out since Yoda rejoined the force and we were growing quite worried about him. Seriously pathetic. Why is it you always see free kitten signs everywhere until you actually want one?? We were on a mission to find Rudy a little brother so Bing stopped at a feed store and they gave us a number for a woman with free cats. Now keep in mind that we are pretty far out in the sticks to begin with.. I called and she proceeded to yack my freakin ear off about these kittens "born on thee fourth of July". Well happy birthday America.. So she agrees to meet us up the gravel county road at "that thar eeelectreec compney on the street".. Driving and no eeelectreec company in sight. I called her back and got a big ole "where yall at?"(..Turned out to be a fenced in transponder, go figure.) She didn't bring the cats and we were to follow her back to the house. Sinking feeling number one.. We drove around this road and that, turned here and there and kept truckin. Brandy began to recite memorable lines from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre and it was getting a little creepy.
Finally we pulled into the drive and I'm not sure how to describe these people but I am gonna try.. The little lady was one of those inbred country types with a big ole "yall come right on in!" and her old man was a workin the yard swetchin up a storm with his buddies. We walked in the house and these people were hunters. I'm talking deer heads on the walls, bear rugs on the floors and I turned around to see a coyote head snarling from the back of the recliner! All kinds of Jesse James crap everywhere and little medicinal bottles full of eye of newt or something. So we get past the smell of dead meat that was probably swinging in the closet and find the kittens. They were cute and we picked out a little grey one with white feet. All the while the weirdos are trying to hock one off on Brandy. (Who has 7 of her own already.).. We promptly ran to the car, waived to the Ed Gein looking man whittlin wood in the barn and tore the hell out. We were screaming turns and hauling back to civilization as fast as we could fly!

So long story even longer, Rudy has another little brother who is warming up to the Animal Kingdom and is quite rambunctious.
Everyone meet Zippy!




You might live in a trailer park if:
Your idea of a seven course meal is a bucket of KFC and a six-pack.