Holy Shit! I'm a Celebrity!
Well dear trailer park fans, I was catching up on my comments and want to thank the good folks that have stopped by. This blog started out as another random Renny "what the hell?" moment but it has become so much more to me. It was a place to bitch about the world and to rant my (many) aggressions but now it feels like a home. There aint nothin like livin in a trailer park folks and all of you make it worthwhile. Thank You.
Ok, the damn Hallmark moment is over and on to the good stuff.. First allow me to give a shoutout to BING! My girl has been feeling a little left out on the blog but baby here is your turn to shine! Thank you for being the beautiful woman that you are, especially when I'm insanely bitchy for no apparent reason.
Have I mentioned the (extremely) scary midget that has a silent, sickening obsession with me? No you say? Well allow me to explain this frightful tale.. Ok, about a month ago we went to some friends house for a cook out. A highly disturbing bunch came trucking across the road to join us and Lord they were a treat. A couple, 5'7ish toothless wonder and the lil butch herself at 4'9 - with umpteen kids in tow. Let us focus on the butch midget for a little backstory.. This thing was all butched up in her work pants and some sleeveless form of a has been tshirt and infested ballcap. Tragic. She was so tough and mighty that it took all I had to contain my amusement. I'm talking smokin with the whole hand over her face, adjusting her ballcap and talking in a deep midget voice. I noticed that she was staring at ME from nonchalantly to obvious to that that look of creepy "I don't want know what is going thru her mind right now". Mind you that I was sitting next to Bing and this progressed without anyone's knowledge.. I clued Bing in as soon as possible and we had a signal system going. Nope, I didnt imagine it, she wanted me.. bad.. red tab Levis and all. She walked ME to my truck talking all the while about her big bad self and running me head to toe folks. We made our great escape as soon as possible and had a disturbing laugh out of it..
Fast forward to today. Same friends invited us to the lake for another cookout. We need to stop doing these things because damn if the toothless wonder, midget and Welfare cases were in attendance! One poor girl was 24, huge as a house with the mortgage pregnant for the third time and out of work sponging on Welfare. Turns out she was a spawn of the midget! I didn't need THAT visual folks.. So long story even longer, I avoided the midgets creepy eye contact, stayed close to Bing with full signals in effect and got the hell out of there ASAP.
Disturbingly Tragical.
In between disturbing midget, a group of Amish folks rolled up. No, I am not making this up folks.. Full Amish little house on the prairie get ups with bonnets and smiles basking in Gods natural wonders. I was wondering if the ice cream truck freaked them out with the motor and all until they piled into a VAN and drove off. I'm confused and it has been a long day..
I still hate the government.
Sunny day, sweeping the clouds away! Take my hand as we step into yesterday.. Can you tell me how to get to get to Sesame Street?.. BINGO!
You might live in a trailer park if:
You've ever rode a bike in an elevator.
Ok, the damn Hallmark moment is over and on to the good stuff.. First allow me to give a shoutout to BING! My girl has been feeling a little left out on the blog but baby here is your turn to shine! Thank you for being the beautiful woman that you are, especially when I'm insanely bitchy for no apparent reason.
Have I mentioned the (extremely) scary midget that has a silent, sickening obsession with me? No you say? Well allow me to explain this frightful tale.. Ok, about a month ago we went to some friends house for a cook out. A highly disturbing bunch came trucking across the road to join us and Lord they were a treat. A couple, 5'7ish toothless wonder and the lil butch herself at 4'9 - with umpteen kids in tow. Let us focus on the butch midget for a little backstory.. This thing was all butched up in her work pants and some sleeveless form of a has been tshirt and infested ballcap. Tragic. She was so tough and mighty that it took all I had to contain my amusement. I'm talking smokin with the whole hand over her face, adjusting her ballcap and talking in a deep midget voice. I noticed that she was staring at ME from nonchalantly to obvious to that that look of creepy "I don't want know what is going thru her mind right now". Mind you that I was sitting next to Bing and this progressed without anyone's knowledge.. I clued Bing in as soon as possible and we had a signal system going. Nope, I didnt imagine it, she wanted me.. bad.. red tab Levis and all. She walked ME to my truck talking all the while about her big bad self and running me head to toe folks. We made our great escape as soon as possible and had a disturbing laugh out of it..
Fast forward to today. Same friends invited us to the lake for another cookout. We need to stop doing these things because damn if the toothless wonder, midget and Welfare cases were in attendance! One poor girl was 24, huge as a house with the mortgage pregnant for the third time and out of work sponging on Welfare. Turns out she was a spawn of the midget! I didn't need THAT visual folks.. So long story even longer, I avoided the midgets creepy eye contact, stayed close to Bing with full signals in effect and got the hell out of there ASAP.
Disturbingly Tragical.
In between disturbing midget, a group of Amish folks rolled up. No, I am not making this up folks.. Full Amish little house on the prairie get ups with bonnets and smiles basking in Gods natural wonders. I was wondering if the ice cream truck freaked them out with the motor and all until they piled into a VAN and drove off. I'm confused and it has been a long day..
I still hate the government.
Sunny day, sweeping the clouds away! Take my hand as we step into yesterday.. Can you tell me how to get to get to Sesame Street?.. BINGO!
You might live in a trailer park if:
You've ever rode a bike in an elevator.
posted by Renny at
7:20 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home