Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular.
Whew, it's a scorcher out today at the Trailer Park! I think we are at 94 degrees and climbing. They are saying maybe topping a 100 before the week is out. I loves me some hot weather here folks! So I am sunning on the back porch of the trailer when suddenly I ponder the toys of my youth. Perhaps it was a reflection of the good old days or possible heat stroke. Either way I don't care but it brought on memories.
I know you older crowd (of which names I will withhold. Von.) will laugh at my examples but (say it with me!) My blog. Your problem.
Remember parachute men? You'd scrounge a few dimes for the toy machine at Winn-Dixie and after 6 or 7 tries up came the parachute man. A cheap plastic Army issue little man with a saran wrap parachute. For a moment of joy, you could launch him up on a mission to watch him kamikaze downward into enemy territory. Granted these things lasted about as long as those rubber sticky spiders crawling down a wall but they were amusing. There were no lasers, no buttons, dials or anything resembling a cell phone. Just plain imagination and a few trips up the tree or on the roof to fish Joe out of his POW camp. Tragic.
Rubber sticky spiders could also be found in the bubble machine. Now these were ingenious and provided hours of entertainment. You'd chuck them up as high on the wall as possible and they would slowly creep downward until you could jump and start all over again. Sometimes they turned up in Mom's underwear drawer or under the door handles but the magic was you simply washed them off and they were off to another destination. Tragic.
Light Brite. Every kid wished for one of these at Christmas. Well maybe not, but I did get one at some point and it held my attention for a week or so. Genuine joy while watching my Mom step on the pegs and yelling obscenities all while laughing my deranged head off. The true bonus though was in terrorizing my little sister. Yes friends, she would go to sleep at night only to discover a little message in the morning.. "Jessica, we miss you.." Faaarek out! It was probably tied into the fact that I told her we bought her off a pack of traveling gypsies. Another story for another day. Tragic.
Some of you ask why I am such a hermit. I think a Christmas or birthday or maybe even a "she'll shuddup if we buy this" moment, I got a plastic chimpmonk camping tent. I pitched that tent in my bedroom with the flaps closed and according to first hand accounts of the relatives, I rarely came out. Dressed in full coat and toboggan, I happily accepted my dinner which could only be slid under the bottom of the tent. After all, I was roughing it in the great indoors and to this day have no idea what I did all that time.
Glow Worm. This was actually my sister's beloved treasure of her life when she was 4 or 5. Man, the ransoms she would pay for that worm.. cookies, money, distractions of the parentals. But the best memory was when we had this trundle bed thing. I would lean up to her bed and put it next to her face at 2am, lighting it's guts up and scaring the living shit right out of her. I still smile real big to this day and miss that little worm.
Ok, so I saved the best for last. This really wasn't a toy but it is quite the treat looking back years later. I had a big obsession with Wrestling at one point. Not the hype crap of today but the old school, Von Erichs and Andre the Giant. So every weekend I would go to my Grandmas apartment where the current weeks newspaper wrestler poster awaited my arrival. I ran for the poster and was off to my secret laboratory - her walk in closet. Grandma had ever so accommodatingly laid out my scissors, posterboard, markers and superglue. I would smile so gleefully and kick her out so that I could get to work! I cant remember what I did with these things but it took hours .. and LOTS of superglue. An 8 year old back then really didn't have the concept of getting high but I know I spent hours in that closet breathing toxic fumes.
Grandma, I love you.
You might live in a trailer park if:
You've ever given rat traps as gifts.
I know you older crowd (of which names I will withhold. Von.) will laugh at my examples but (say it with me!) My blog. Your problem.
Remember parachute men? You'd scrounge a few dimes for the toy machine at Winn-Dixie and after 6 or 7 tries up came the parachute man. A cheap plastic Army issue little man with a saran wrap parachute. For a moment of joy, you could launch him up on a mission to watch him kamikaze downward into enemy territory. Granted these things lasted about as long as those rubber sticky spiders crawling down a wall but they were amusing. There were no lasers, no buttons, dials or anything resembling a cell phone. Just plain imagination and a few trips up the tree or on the roof to fish Joe out of his POW camp. Tragic.
Rubber sticky spiders could also be found in the bubble machine. Now these were ingenious and provided hours of entertainment. You'd chuck them up as high on the wall as possible and they would slowly creep downward until you could jump and start all over again. Sometimes they turned up in Mom's underwear drawer or under the door handles but the magic was you simply washed them off and they were off to another destination. Tragic.
Light Brite. Every kid wished for one of these at Christmas. Well maybe not, but I did get one at some point and it held my attention for a week or so. Genuine joy while watching my Mom step on the pegs and yelling obscenities all while laughing my deranged head off. The true bonus though was in terrorizing my little sister. Yes friends, she would go to sleep at night only to discover a little message in the morning.. "Jessica, we miss you.." Faaarek out! It was probably tied into the fact that I told her we bought her off a pack of traveling gypsies. Another story for another day. Tragic.
Some of you ask why I am such a hermit. I think a Christmas or birthday or maybe even a "she'll shuddup if we buy this" moment, I got a plastic chimpmonk camping tent. I pitched that tent in my bedroom with the flaps closed and according to first hand accounts of the relatives, I rarely came out. Dressed in full coat and toboggan, I happily accepted my dinner which could only be slid under the bottom of the tent. After all, I was roughing it in the great indoors and to this day have no idea what I did all that time.
Glow Worm. This was actually my sister's beloved treasure of her life when she was 4 or 5. Man, the ransoms she would pay for that worm.. cookies, money, distractions of the parentals. But the best memory was when we had this trundle bed thing. I would lean up to her bed and put it next to her face at 2am, lighting it's guts up and scaring the living shit right out of her. I still smile real big to this day and miss that little worm.
Ok, so I saved the best for last. This really wasn't a toy but it is quite the treat looking back years later. I had a big obsession with Wrestling at one point. Not the hype crap of today but the old school, Von Erichs and Andre the Giant. So every weekend I would go to my Grandmas apartment where the current weeks newspaper wrestler poster awaited my arrival. I ran for the poster and was off to my secret laboratory - her walk in closet. Grandma had ever so accommodatingly laid out my scissors, posterboard, markers and superglue. I would smile so gleefully and kick her out so that I could get to work! I cant remember what I did with these things but it took hours .. and LOTS of superglue. An 8 year old back then really didn't have the concept of getting high but I know I spent hours in that closet breathing toxic fumes.
Grandma, I love you.
You might live in a trailer park if:
You've ever given rat traps as gifts.
posted by Renny at
6:04 PM
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5 comments
