The Faggots will miss you Jerry!

Dont Squeeze the Charmin, You Bastard!!

Oh. My. God.

Please allow me to explain the past week of my life folks.

Tuesday before last, that being the last Tuesday before, I finally got my driver's license in the mail and at last got my long awaited tattoo. Go Sox. Yankees Suck.

Purdy, aint it folks? Gam is less than impressed but she has never quite been a body art fan to begin with. Anyhoo.. Moving on.

Wednesday night and 24 hours later, I wound up in the ER only to be admitted into Thursday. Same shit different day, I like to keep them on their toes. Oh btw, my mom was on a cruise and I didn't want to ruin her return by telling her I was in the hospital. Watch this be the one time she actually reads this... Sorry Mom, love ya. So I spent a couple of days in a Podunk hospital with three channels of tv and a fresh tattoo. People kept dying all around me too. Code Blue is exciting but it gets old on the third or fourth round.

Friday I was a free woman and dammit I got some real food. Talking prime rib here folks.. med rare, horseradish, au jus and some fried mushrooms. God Bless America.

Did some shopping and other random shit over the weekend.

Then came Monday morning.

Monday was bad.. very bad folks. Bad pukey, shittayyy and good God, I just want to die bad. There is some curse of hell going around the great state of Texas that is incapacitating people by the dozens here folks and it looks like my lucky number came up. 12 hours of this went by and Bing managed to get a piece of the action. I'll save you the details.
Monday turned into Tuesday, Tuesday into Wednesday and I have no idea what day it is now. Two Sickies have turned into three with a possible fourth in tow. Mayday! Mayday!

7-up is my friend.

Mom, glad you had a wonderful time in KEY freakin' WEST!

Christ on a bike.