I've never liked the show The View because it reminded me of a pathetic hen house gibbering forever. Hence the fact that I am about maxed on the Star Jones vs. Barbara Walters crap! Star was due to get booted so she cut it short and threw a bomb on them.. Why is this on CNN? Ok, for the sake of argument here.. Is it not (sad) human nature to get payback when one feels jaded?? I do have to say in Barbara's defense (whether sincere or not) that she did handle Star's departure very professionally. Star seems to be the one crying another somebody done me wrong song to every media outlet possible.
Lets end this thing now...
Star, find a new job and more realistic name.
Barbara, dear diva, your ratings will now improve.
Rosie, good luck in the hen house. You'll need it.

It seems Vice President Bush is heading off to Graceland today with the honcho of Japan. Yes folks, tax dollars are paying for the flying mansion to visit the jungle room.
That takes some attention off Iraq don't it?

Moving onto other CNN news.. It seems that our government has a new report detailing how to save Cuba from itself once Castro dies. Apparently it calls for an $80 million "democratic fund" and also recommends at least $20 million a year for "democracy programs" until they get their shit together.

Now here is the kicker as quoted from CNN -
"This critical 180-day period could mean the difference between a successful transition period and the stumbles and missteps that have slowed other states in their transitions toward democracy," the report says.

Does anyone else find "stumbles and missteps" sounding strangely close to the current situation in Iraq? Why is it that the good old USA needs to march around conforming all societies to ours?

I'm angry.
Sure it beats a Totalitarian society but Democracy ain't always pretty folks. It ain't pretty when hundreds of dead people float down streets for days on end. It ain't pretty when the government blows billions around the world but cuts school programs here at home. And Democracy sure ain't pretty when politicians paint nasty little pictures to get what they want, all in the name of "Democracy".

Now before you go getting your moonpies in a wad, many brave people have fought and died so that I can sit my lazy ass here at the park and type away my first amendment. I honor and respect each and every person that has served this country and to them I owe my life. The rant above was directed toward politicians who seem to be digging holes on every corner of this Earth.

My blog. Your problem.

You might live in a trailer park if:
You think Bagel Bites can harm you.

List three of your favorite quotes:
1) Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. -Mae West
2) I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. -George Carlin
3) I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate. -George Burns

List three toys you loved when you were a child:
1) He-Man
2) parachute men
3) Nintendo

List three things you always put off:
1) Mopping floors
2) Doctor Appointments
3) Phone Calls

You might live in a trailer park if:
You’ve ever knocked a woman unconscious by snapping her bra.

Nifty Nine and Trailer News

List three of your irrational fears:
I dont really have any irrational.

List three things you'd never eat:
I'll do anything for the right price.

List three things you regret:
1) Being in WI when my grandma died.
2) Buying a house.
3) Not trying harder before I left WI.

Well its been a busy week here outside the park.. Sunday was of course Daddy's Day and he upheld the track record per usual. Plans were cancelled due to a flat tire. Daddy, you are still the best a kid could have no matter how unbelievably screwed up you are at times!.. Tuesday my bud Ang had surgery, all went well and she is doing good. She will be recouperatin here at the park this wknd..

Oh, my former Stepmonster was in a coma and I dropped in when they pulled the plug - good riddance. Stepmonster, I hope your afterlife is as miserable as you made me.

We have a wedding this weekend and I will be on full molestation midget patrol. I have been assured that it wont be making an appearance but with the way this week has gone.. LOL

Hope all you park fans are doing well.
Please dont forget your moonpie and RC before you exit!

You might live in a trailer park if:
You’ve ever opened up a scorpion petting zoo and made money off of it.

Beware, BirdFlu!

NIFTY NINE!

List three things you've drank today:
1) Diet Dr. Pepper
2) Cherry Limeade
3) More Diet Dr. Pepper

List three things you've eaten today :
1) Mac & Cheese
2) Hamburger Steak
3) Nothin

List three talents you wish you had:
1) ambition is overrated
2) ambition is overrated
3)ambition is overrated

You might live in a trailer park if:
You are paying child support to yourself.

Dental Emergencies..

We have made it to our 50th post! This is incredible folks and we all here at the park say thank you kindly!

Lets start off with a topic that has been raised by the newer park fans. It seems that some don't quite understand the trailer park speak. Here is a short and informative list of terms so that you can enjoy your stay.

Mobile home:A large house trailer that that can be connected to utilities and can be parked in one place and used as permanent housing

Flamingo:
Any of several large gregarious wading birds of the family Phoenicopteridae of tropical regions, having reddish or pinkish plumage, long legs, a long flexible neck, and a bill turned downward at the tip. Often used as landscaping additions. (See Mobile Homes above.)

Tragical:
Tragic such as "You take too tragical a view of matters" "He assumes a sudden look of tragical sobriety"

Affirmative:
1 : asserting the existence of certain facts esp. in support of a cause of action
2 : resulting from an intentional act
3 : involving or requiring application of effort
4 : favoring or supporting a proposition or motion

Negative:
1 : to refuse to approve; veto.
2 : to deny; contradict.
3 : to demonstrate to be false; disprove.
4 : to counteract or neutralize.


Do yall remember that candy concoction "Bit-o-Honey"? I sprung for the super duper anti Jenny Craig model and excitedly unwrapped my chunk-o-honey.. Folks, I dont remember this being so complicated! Talk about a struggle first getting the wrapper open and the wax paper on both sides of the tasty treat. I was salivating until discovering that the honey had squeezed out and dried around the wax paper. I pondered how to approach this as I tore wax confetti everywhere.. Broke the hold and had my wax paper laced treat which was looking slightly unappetizing but still I soldiered on. Now comes the tricky part. You cant bite the pieces, you have to break them apparently thru wax paper. So you bend back and forth in a playdough motion until finally the moment arrives. Now one thing you need to know when eating this candy is that you will lose a filling or two in the process. The best approach is to melt it on your tongue and to the top of your mouth overlooking the fact that you look like a dog eating peanut butter. When all was done it tasted just as I remembered short of the wax paper.
Magically, Tragically Delicious!

Kool Aid was the bestest thing on earth when I was a kid. Sometimes you drank it with half a pitcher of sugar and others you mixed the sugar in for ghetto pixy stick effect. My ultimate flavor was Purplesaurus Rex and this folks was the yummiest of them all.. Sorta berrish and tangy but sweet with a grapeish finish.. I looked for it a few yrs ago and found out that they discontinued the flavor.
Tragical class A negatory violation.

Have you ever drank Sprite thru a Twizzler?
Or put Smarties up your nose?
Me neither.........

My favorite cereal as a kid was Captain Crunch. I think it was the blue Captain hat or the elusive crunchberries but that cereal was my guilty pleasure. So a few months ago I ran across it in the store and had to relive the glory days.
What the hell happened to Captain Crunch???????? This Crunch Spawn was not of my youth, it was horrible. The cereal itself was so hard that I almost cracked a tooth and the crunchberries left a really nasty film on the roof of my mouth. They must have changed the dye too because my tongue wasnt even blueish red!! And yes, tragically the Peanut Butter Cap'n has gone to hell too.
Where has the Captain Gone?????????

You might live in a trailer park if:
Your paperweight is a decomposing chicken.

This Week's Nifty Nine

List three people you'd like to trade lives with for one week:
1) Bill Gates
2) Dubya
3) Our freakin' cats!

List three places in the United States you'd like to visit :
1) Boston, MA
2) Cooperstown, NY
3) Washington D.C.

List three songs that make you dance in your seat as soon as you hear them:
1) AM Radio, Everclear
2) All Along the Watchtower, Jimi Hendrix
3) She's A Lady, Tom Jones

You might live in a trailer park if:
You’ve ever woke up with a crop circle shaved in your beard.

Exotic, Erotic and a Little Psychotic

Moon Pie: Modern-day pastry food, invented during the first half of the 20th century. It consists of two graham crackers shaped into round cookies, with marshmallow filling in the center. The confection is then dipped in chocolate (or other flavors).Moon pies are seen as a unique creation of the United States' South, where they have been a perennial favorite since their inception. Moon pies reached the peak of their popularity during the 1950s, when many workers bought them as an inexpensive snack to tide their hunger for a while.
Around this time, the typical cost of a moon pie was about five cents, and a soda to drink was also a nickel. The popular legend of moon pies states that R.C. Cola became the drink of choice to accompany a moon pie, because a serving of R.C. Cola was typically larger than a serving of Coca-Cola or other sodas. The combination of "an R.C. Cola and a moon pie" became inseparable.

Bein the official start of summer, we had us the 24th Annual Moonpie Festival here at the park last weekend! Thelma Lynn and Betty organized the pot luck (them was some tasty pork rinds Ms. Lucy!) and of course Jolene was always handing out her helpful tips here and there. We're already planning for next year and surely hope yall can join us!

And heresy some pictures we took off the Polaroid!http://twopinkflamingos.myphotoalbum.com

Now this in that link above is our official 2006 Moon Pie Festival Tshirt which can be purchased in our gift shop for only $15.00 plus shipping. Sizes are available from small to extra large! Yall just holler if you want one.

You might live in a trailer park if:

You've ever put Everclear in your ears after swimmin.